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| i really need to win the mega millions so i can fund my future travel
plans, shopping sprees, and drop out of school. if i was to
hypothetically give you a million dollars, what would you do with it?
boo on akron for saying i can graduate in 2 years! it's more like 2.5 years.
34 more weeks till i graduate!
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| Merry Christmas,
Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Boxing Day, and Happy New Year
everyone. I hope everyone is able to spend the holidays with loved ones.
I just wanted to take time to say thank you to my family, old and new
friends, and acquaintances for being absolutely wonderful. I am
truly blessed and thankful to have each one of you in my life.
This year has definitely been a year to remember. I think the
opening line from A Tale of Two Cities sums
up how I feel about 2005, "It was the best of times, it was the worst
of times..." Wondering what 2006 has in store for everyone.
I thought I share the following message with you. This was taken
from Dear Abby (yes, I read Dear Abby) and has been hanging by the side
of my mirror for many years now. As old as it is, I think the
message is still relevant today and I'm still trying to apply some of
the lines to my life.
"Let the coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do
some of the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't find the
time.
Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old
grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Share a funny
story with someone whose spirits are dragging. A good laugh can
be very good medicine.
Vow not to make a promise you don't think you can
keep. Pay a debt. Give a soft answer instead of a harsh
one. Free yourself from envy and malice.
Encourage some you to do his or her best.
Share your experience, and offer support. Young people need role
models more than they need critics.
Make a genuine effort to stay closer touch with
family and good friends. Resolve to stop magnifying small
problems and shooting from the lip. Words that you have to eat
can be hard to digest.
Find the time to be kind and thoughtful. "I'm
too busy" is a lame excuse. All of us have the same allotment of
time-24 hours a day.
Give a compliment. It might give someone a badly needed lift.
Think things through. Don't make rash
judgments. Forgive an injustice. Listen more. Be kind.
Apologize when you realize you are wrong. An
apology never diminishes a person. It elevates him. Don't
blow your own horn. If you've done something praiseworthy,
someone will notice eventually.
Try to understand a point of view that is different
from your own. Few things are 100% one way or another.
Examine the demands you make on others.
Lighten up. When you feel like blowing your
top, ask yourself, "Will it matter a week from today?" Laugh the
loudest when the joke is on you.
The sure way to have a friend is to be one. We
are all connected by our humanity, and we need each other. Avoid
malcontents and pessimists. They drag you down and contribute
nothing.
Don't discourage a beginner from trying something
risky. Nothing ventured means nothing gained. Be
optimistic. The can-do spirit is the fuel that makes things go,
and it makes you fun to be around. Nobody likes a sourpuss.
Go to war against animosity and complacency.
Express gratitude. Give credit when it's due-and when it
isn't. It will make you look good.
Read something uplifting. Deep-six the
trash. You wouldn't eat garbage, why put it in your head?
Don't abandon your old-fashioned principles. They never go out of
style, and they will serve you well. When courage is needed, ask
yourself, "If not me, who? If not now, when?"
Walk tall, and smile more. You'll look 10 years younger. Don't
forget to say, "I love you." Say it again. They are the
sweetest words in the world. And remember-if you have love in
your life, it can make up for a lot of things you don't have."
part of a song that i really like that i've been listening to a lot lately.
goo goo doll's better days.
"And you ask what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that we'll find better days
cause I don't need boxeds wrapped in strings
and desire and love and empty things
Just a chance we'll find better days
So take these words
and sing out loud
cause everyone is forgiven now
cause tonight's the night the world begins again..."
Till the next posting, take care everyone. Again, happy holidays! 
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| it's been one month. we're all missing you. finally, got the sign i needed to know that you're ok. last night was rough since it was the last time a month ago i talked to you on the phone. 12:38am to be exact. i was tearing up and what not and the song that i last sent to you, gavin degraw's follow through, came on around the time you last called me. it's weird because i never hear that song on the radio and for it to come on the radio at the time it did, it feels like you're trying to tell me you're ok. i remember when i sent you the song, you and i said it was perfect for us because it said everything we wanted to say to each other. we were the start of something good. i think that is what i needed to get through this and lift some of the weight i've been feeling, to finally know that you're ok up there.
all that i can do now is honor your memory, remember all the good times (from all those late night meetings where we would sit in your car and talk to 3-4am when i was in town to the time you threw your cell at my eye), and live life to the fullest. my mom said i was very lucky that i have nothing but good memories with you and that i found you. i couldn't agree with her more.
 your favorite pic from the trip. (click on pic to enlarge)
 my favorite pic from the trip.
love you, miss you, a.p.a.c. i'll see you again.
lyrics to gavin degraw's follow through. i meant every word in this song.
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet
So since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I‘m holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
The words you say to me are unlike anything
That's ever been said
And what you do to me is unlike anything
That's ever been
Am I too obvious to preach it
You're so hypnotic on my heart
So since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
So since you want to be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
For you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow
Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
some words to you from the people i'm closest to:
vic-
Anson Chan, Jr. August 26, 1981- August 20, 2005
Anson, I truly regret that I did not have the chance to get to know you better. As Judy's brother, I am cautious of anyone whom she dates. I know now that I had absolutely nothing to worry about with you. You have treated her so well, and I have never seen her so happy before. For that, I am forever grateful to you. It is obvious that you are a wonderful person, and the world will always be less bright. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May you be with God and be in eternal happiness. Rest in peace.
scott-
R.I.P. Anson Chan Jr 8/20/05
I didn't have the chance to get to know you that well,
but what i saw was that you made my sister happier
then I've seen anyone. For that I am very grateful.
All I have been hearing from everyone was how kind
hearted and what a good person you were to everyone.
May you find eternal peace and happiness.
jho-"I couldn't of asked for a better boyfriend for Judy. You were truly everything she ever wanted. I'm glad you were there in Cincinnati with us...a memory I will take with me until I see you again. You'll always have a special place in my heart. I'm thankful and blessed for the time that I did get to spend with you. I'll never forget the smiles and laughs that I would get from Judy when we used to talk about you. I know you made her really happy. I could always see the smile through the phone when I talked to her. I know you'll always take care of her. "
pics from your camera from our trip.
     
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|  at rain 8/13/05
Anson Yau Chan, Jr. August 26, 1981-August 20, 2005
i will always miss you and think of you... you will always have a place in my heart. you were such a kind, happy, funny, sweet, goofy, thoughtful, smart person and the list goes on and on about how wonderful you were. i can't begin to do the proper justice in telling the world how special you were, how special you were to me.
i'm glad i spent last weekend (6 days!) with you and have many wonderful memories to look back on. i will cherish every moment we had together. i just want you to know you made me truly happy. everyone around me saw how very happy i was when i was with you. i've been blessed to spend the last 9 months getting to know you better and it finally lead to US. you and me. we were suppose to conquer the world with our silliness and accomplish everything you had on our long list of things to do. we were suppose to see the world together, you were suppose to show me the world.
anson yau chan, jr. you are PERFECT for me and i will miss you so very, very much. i was falling so hard for you... you and i didn't expect that we would fall for each other the way we did, but i'm glad it happened. you and i were perfect for each other because like we talked about before, our happiness was so effortless. you and i were SO right for each other and what makes this so hard for me is that you, everyone around us, and i knew it was true. i'm glad i made sure you knew how absolutely smitten i was with you.
i have to trust that this is all part of God's plan, that there was a good reason that he took you so early from everyone and me.
a.p.a.c., Aesthetically Pleasing Anson Chan, my special nickname for you. i will never forget how long you laughed when i first said that to you. you were all mine a.p.a.c. and i was all yours.
this song reminds me of you... i listen to it, think of you, and can imagine you with me... that you're watching over all of us and smiling your trademark smile.
josh groban's "to where you are"
"Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory's so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be
That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are"
miss you so much, love you so much.
    
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